I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
