I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
