Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
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