North Korea, Best Korea!
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
