I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
What a fucking waste of an outfit
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
