Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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