I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
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