We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
