I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
At least make sure they are 18
Why
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
