She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
