If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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