Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
