Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
