they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
i think im in europe. pls send help
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
