where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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