Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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