Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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