So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
try to milk me bitch
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