My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Randomize