Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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