I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
