maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
