when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
