Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize