Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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