He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize