If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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