We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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