Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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