i can't believe i had my finger in that
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize