it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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