I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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