nut hugger
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
