Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
