That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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