im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
