Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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