I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
My Higher Power is John Stamos
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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