nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
