I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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