STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
