Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize