Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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