Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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