well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
He's a Shit stain on my heart
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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