he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
