kristin has been a bad kristin
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
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