I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
