Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize