I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
