I puked a lego.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
