there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Redeem this text for a blowjob
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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