It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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