I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
