On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
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