I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
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