Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
where are you?
Hypothermia
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
