ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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