if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize