you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
You were trust falling into bushes
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
