no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
