I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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