real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize