Don't you send me to vm
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
