Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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