So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
