D3 body, D1 cock
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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