Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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