I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
