Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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