Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
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