I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
What happened to fro yo and sex?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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