I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
