no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
