Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I need help removing her.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
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